Posts by Perfection Seeker

31

JW Dad talks to me,talks to me not

by mommy1 in

my jw dad calls me every once in awhile and is very friendly.

i have even went to his house for dinner,went shopping with him and his wife.

then months go by and i call he is cold and distant.so i figure he doesn't want a relationship.

Perfection Seeker

Mommy- I am SOOO sorry I said get used to it. All I meant was those who are "IN" are very flighty- want to see you one minute, then the next you are not "worthy" I said GET USED TO IT out of gest. Its been over 7 years that my family has done that to me- and I am NOT used to it yet- so sorry I said it- was in a bad way. Here is where you need support- sorry if it sounded negative. Best wishes! MElissa

20

Would you forget it ALL if you could?

by Perfection Seeker in

if you could "bump your head" and forget all the crap that came with being a witness, would you?

but, in some way, i think i have grown from the experience & have learned from it, and it has made me be a better personl, less judgemental, more tolerant, more open.

but, if there was a magic pill to erase it- hmm......hell yes i'd do it!

Perfection Seeker

I agree Jan! I guess if it meant wiping out ALL Memories- family, friends, etc- I wouldn't want to do it. Can't anyway- so no issue there :-) I am how I am because of my upbringing, and that is something I have to face. Just wish all the DEEP DEEP DEEP DEEP guilt would just vanish away. God didn't plant that guilt- the ORGANIZATION did. That I would erase if I could selectively erase things :-)

20

Would you forget it ALL if you could?

by Perfection Seeker in

if you could "bump your head" and forget all the crap that came with being a witness, would you?

but, in some way, i think i have grown from the experience & have learned from it, and it has made me be a better personl, less judgemental, more tolerant, more open.

but, if there was a magic pill to erase it- hmm......hell yes i'd do it!

Perfection Seeker

If you could "bump your head" and forget ALL the crap that came with being a witness, would you? Sometimes I say YES YES YES. BUT, in some way, I think I have grown from the experience & have learned from it, and it has made me be a better personl, less judgemental, more tolerant, more open. BUT, if there was a magic pill to erase it- hmm......hell yes I'd do it! :-) So much mental torture & guilt & abuse. If anyone finds the magic pill- let me know! :-) So far- this board has been like a magic pill for me- it has really helped heal me- and I just found it last week! :-) Thanks to everyone!

Edited by - perfection seeker on 2 July 2002 17:34:9

31

JW Dad talks to me,talks to me not

by mommy1 in

my jw dad calls me every once in awhile and is very friendly.

i have even went to his house for dinner,went shopping with him and his wife.

then months go by and i call he is cold and distant.so i figure he doesn't want a relationship.

Perfection Seeker

Get used to it! My mother is the same way. On Saturday- she will call- all nicey nicey- mention the speaker for the next day- Sunday she is a bitch, Monday she is a bitch, by Tuesday, she is forgetting a little why she was mad (me not going to meeting) Wednesday it is "HI HONEY" Thursday Friday Saturday fine- then starts the bitch cycle. (Sorry for swear words- only way to describe it) I jsut deal with it. I know we get along Wed-Sat- and not Sun- Tues. If I were you- I would take the "good days" and enjoy them. Or, you could say- forget it- I don't need the once a year nicey nicey. I am glad I don't have kids to be used as pawns from my mom. GOOD LUCK!

44

My surreal district convention

by RunningMan in

jw
friends

well, i just got back from yet another summer ass-marathon.

seventeen hours of sitting in hockey arena seats that were made for three hour games, trying to stay awake, while not losing contact with my extremities.. needless to say, the program was dull and boring.

in fact, i'm not completely sure that they didnt just re-run last year's.

Perfection Seeker

Oh my god- I just read your post- it felt like I was at the convention- ugh! My butt hurts, my head hurts, I feel like I've eaten a Jehovahoagie (Still laughing at that reference) and I am mentally drained! I am soooooooooooo glad I no longer go to conventions!

33

Any Funny Virgin Honeymoon stories?

by Perfection Seeker in

anyone have any funny virgin honeymoon stories?

none here- but my brother & his wife- both good witnesses got married- didn't get to complete the act for 6 weeks- his wife had no idea he was so big- and kept crying & was afraid.

just another "well educated" witness girl.

Perfection Seeker

HI! Hey- I never meant all christians were prudes- I just was commenting from personal experience, that I think witnesses who marry as virgins are usually niave- and don't know a whole lot- and the elders in our particular hall advised the young people to go home after the wedding, and rest, sleep together, but not engage in sex- wake up the next day- and do it rested, and not rushed. I have heard so many stories of women who didn't know how big a penis got- or what to expect, or a guy getting so excited- he just stuck it in & was done, or when the girl cried- he stopped, etc. I think "worldy" kids know more about sex before hand. I was totally blinded- my parents kept it all hidden. Just thought there might be more funny stories :-)

16

Definitions

by erasescars in

jw
friends

i am not, nor ever have been, a witness.

i have a very dear friend who is a former (actually still is technically, as i understand it) witness and who is trying to adjust to existence in the "world.

" i am here on this site to better understand the hell she has been subjected to all her life and the hell she is and will still go through on her journey.

Perfection Seeker

Erasescars-
So, how do you know this exwitness? Whats your relationship? You say you didn't get in on the LOTS OF SEX time when she left the organization, what did you mean by that? What is the difficult times you are going through with her? This forum is to lend an ear, a shoulder- use it!
Best wishes- PS

18

Are you more interested now?

by In_between_days in

jw
friends

i may be alone here, but are you more interested in jw docrines, change of docrines, watchtowers, km's and othe jw publications now that you are an ex member as opposed to when you were a witness?.

i realised this the other day, when i was cleaning out a wardrobe and there was a "knowledge" book, i got so excited and read the whole thing, looking up scriptures as i went when they were quoted.

(this was accompanied by a soundtrack of consistant scoffs, snorts and "what the hells".?").

Perfection Seeker

For me- I have NO desire to read the publications! NONE WHATSOEVER! I already proved to myself it wasn't the true religion, and that is good enough for me! That stuff has a way of twisting & turning, and I don't want to waste another MINUTE reading it. But, I see where you guys are coming from! :-)

17

What would it take for you to be happy

by kenpodragon in

jw
friends

what would it take for you to be happy in life?

does it take the fall of the organization, or just one person?

or does it take something else completely unrelated to the witnesses?.

Perfection Seeker

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! I JUST tried to post this EXACT posting- but it said I had my limit today! Wow- great minds think alike :-) For me, I don't want the organization or any one particular person to fall. My mother is in the organization & SOOOOOOOOOO happy- it TOTALLY works for her. ALOT of people need the mind control & being told how to live, what to do, what to think, etc. I am glad the organization is there for those types of people. Works great for them- didn't for me- but good for them! :-) I am happy in life. I feel free. Still have ties & guilt from family "inside" but happier than I have ever been in my 27 years in. This website is helping me to make a mental break & be mentally free. This website has been a god sent! So, I am happy now :-) Course, a winning lottery ticket would make me REALLY happy............ :-)

16

Definitions

by erasescars in

jw
friends

i am not, nor ever have been, a witness.

i have a very dear friend who is a former (actually still is technically, as i understand it) witness and who is trying to adjust to existence in the "world.

" i am here on this site to better understand the hell she has been subjected to all her life and the hell she is and will still go through on her journey.

Perfection Seeker

Erasescars- I, too, hate that the witness profess to be the ONLY link to god. When I was in the organization, they drilled & drilled & drilled me full of this nonsense. Without being able to read other literature (FORBIDDEN) and have limited "outside" contact with others, it all was taken as gospel, and just "believed" to a certain point. When you're "in' for whatever reason, you place your ENTIRE trust & belief system in the organization. You are taught not to question it, and to go with it, and to believe. You are an outcast if even in your "faith" you ask a questions. So, when you leave, its almost like- we'll, I just lost the ONLY chance at everlasting life! Sad, but ALOT of EXWitnesses turn to drugs, alcohol, sex (LOTS OF SEX-LOL) to kind of dull or numb the pain, and also, because when you're "IN" they say once you leave- you might as well LIVE IT UP, cause once you die- thats it for you- so enjoy life. Alot feel that they lost the direct line to god- so why bother praying, or trying to lead a good, Christian life .Although now I do believe in god- and have a better relationship with him than I EVER did in the organization, when I first left, I did experiment with pot, drinking, & sex. At first, it was out of curiosity, then it got to be like "Hey- why not- nothing matters anymore" I am glad I figured out that there IS a god outside of the organization. It is hard even for my husband to understand the lies & mental torture you go through being "in". Even though I try to tell him- he is like- Ok, its over now- get on with your life. Don't GIVE them anymore power. But, I need to talk about it, and deal with it, and this website is an enormous help. I imagine your friend will always find comfort here. Even when she heals the scars from within- this will be a wonderful support group, to remind her, help her, and be here- unconditionally for her. Sounds like you are that kind of friend for her, as well. She is very lucky to have found you. If you continue to be here friend, you, too, will most likely want to come in here often, so don't think you'll be leaving us soon :-) Bookmark this page, and visit often! :-) By the way- I like your name- erasescars- very very very fitting in here! :-)

Edited by - perfection seeker on 1 July 2002 13:42:43

Edited by - perfection seeker on 1 July 2002 13:44:38